Needy is Not Hot

We are talking about relationships. What is it in your life that you love that you haven't done in a while? If you are in a relationship with someone, this is something I tell my clients all the time about their relationships: "Needy is not hot." Remember this. Being needy with someone and needing their attention all the time is not sexy. What is sexy is you having your own stuff that you are passionate about, interested in, and participating in yourself.


I am fortunate that I have a happy marriage and relationship with my wife. We both have our own things that we love very much. It is basketball season now and as I've mentioned before I am a big NCAA basketball fan. I have the March Madness. There is nothing about men's NCAA basketball tournament I don't love. I get the schedule in my calendar as soon as it is out and schedule around basketball. My wife teasingly calls herself a "basketball widow" during the tournament, but truly she is happy I have stuff I'm passionate about. She is passionate about dancing. She is a Zumba(tm) instructor and she dances 3x a week minimum. That is something that lights her up. Music we are both passionate about. We often sing together with our kids and at church. Movies are something I often do on my own because she's not that into going. I really like to go though and enjoy taking myself to the movies. 

Is there anything in your life that you really love doing that you haven't done in a while? Sometimes when we are in a relationship and get caught up in that, there are things we neglect to do that feed us. Reflect on this. Is there anything I love that I haven't done in a long time? A guitar you haven't picked up? Pick it up! Take yourself to the movies or watch some basketball. Do the things you love that fill you up.

Needy is not hot. What is hot is healthy, independent people who have their own thing going on. That's sexy.


Be the first to comment

Please check your e-mail for a link to activate your account.